in the willow's shadow
by TheChasm
Summary: January, 1976. One disaster. Seven points of view. What exactly happened in the days after Sirius Black sent Severus Snape to the Whomping Willow?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Some of the dialogue in this chapter is taken directly from _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ ; I don't own that either.**

 **A/N: I'm back! I'm still on hiatus, but this little plotbunny caught hold of me and wouldn't let go. This story will eventually be a collection of seven one-shots about Sirius's prank on Snape and its aftermath, each one from the point of view of a different character. They link together but can all be read independently and in any order. First up is this one: I hope you'll enjoy it!**

 **The Observer**

There wasn't a great deal Lily could do. She could mourn, of course, and she could pity, but somehow her heart-throbs never seemed to amount to much when she saw Remus Lupin after each full moon: pale, shaky, sick. He didn't deserve it, but no matter how many times Lily told herself that, nothing changed.

It had been nearly a year and a half since her discovery. She had told no one, but every full-moon night she stayed awake by the window and watched the sky. It was a small sacrifice, but making it did something to soothe her troubled conscience.

So here she was, the full moon of January 1976, sitting in the common room with her Astronomy textbook balanced on her lap at four o'clock on a Saturday evening, trying to reconcile herself to the long, sleepless night that was going to follow. She was in her favourite window seat, concealed from sight by the drapery and a clever Disillusionment Charm, and so she went unnoticed by James Potter as he hurtled down the stairs from the boys' dorms and crashed out of the portrait hole.

Lily narrowed her eyes. She had caught just a brief glimpse of Potter's face, and it had been wild with terror. What had happened to frighten him so – and tonight, of all nights?

As she pondered this, Black and Pettigrew came down the stairs and sat down on a sofa. Black's jaw was set defiantly; Pettigrew was white and trembling. They said nothing, but in half an hour or so, when everyone in the house had gone down to dinner in the Great Hall, Pettigrew made a tiny moaning sound and hid his face in the sofa cushion.

"Quit the melodrama, Wormtail," Black said sharply.

To Lily's shock, Pettigrew sat up straight and said, "You're an idiot, Sirius. You – I almost hope someone dies because it's the only way you'll learn your lesson!"

Black's eyes flared, and Lily wondered whether Pettigrew had ever dared talk back to him before. When he spoke, his voice was dripping with aristocratic control. "Don't be stupid."

Pettigrew laughed shakily. "You still don't understand, do you? You know the worst-case scenario? Remus dies tonight. He mauls himself to death or – or they'll execute him or—"

Black had turned ashen during this speech, and as the portrait door swung open he said fiercely, "Shut up! Shut _up_!"

It was Potter, looking as drained as a dying man. When he brushed down his robes, his hands shook.

Pettigrew started to his feet. "Did you—?"

"Dumbledore's office," Potter said faintly. "Now."

The other two Marauders exchanged nervous looks and then followed him out of the common room.

Lily's hands had tightened on her book, and she stared after them curiously. This – this was not a normal full moon.

As the evening wore on, the common room filled up again and then emptied. Lily sat curled up in her corner, waiting.

It was very late when the three Marauders returned. Potter and Pettigrew made for the staircase, but Black paused for a moment. "I—" he began hesitantly.

Potter looked back at him, and Lily shivered at the fierce, broken rage on his face. "You," he said, biting off the words, "had better go down on your knees and pray like you mean it for the first time in your life. Because if _anything_ happens to him, I will not rest until every drop of blood is outside your body."

"I didn't think..."

Potter's face contorted with anger. It made him look almost ugly. "You never think, do you, Black?"

Black actually took a step backwards, looking more shocked by this than by anything else. " _What_ did you call me?"

"You heard me," Potter said coldly. "And I meant it, because you're Black to the core, aren't you?"

Black gaped at him as he turned and shepherded Pettigrew up the stairs to his dormitory. Lily shivered. She had never heard these two closest of friends argue before, let alone stare at each other with bleak adult hatred on their faces.

To be fair, that was just Potter. Black looked wildly around the common room, dark grey eyes frightened and cornered like a wild animal's, but he did not seem angry. He looked strange without his usual insolent grin, simultaneously much older and much younger than sixteen. After a moment, he made a sound suspiciously like a sob and dashed up the stairs after his friends.

Lily turned to stare out of the window, at the bright full moon hanging in the sky behind her. She fancied she could hear a strangled howl and her heart twisted with pity. As she stared back down at the lines of her textbook, her vision blurred a little. She didn't think anyone deserved to turn into a werewolf once a month, but least of all gentle, good-natured Remus.

As the night wore on she studied and kept a vigil with the sky and wept quietly into the curtains; there was something strange and different in the air tonight and she know something momentous had happened, something that would shape the Marauders for many years to come and touch her as well.

Moonrise was early in January, and sunrise late. The moon had been up for nearly sixteen hours before Gryffindor tower began to stir the next morning. Lily's Disillusionment Charm was beginning to wear off, but she went unnoticed by Potter and Pettigrew as they came marching down the boys' staircase and left the common room. Both were still dressed in yesterday's clothes and Lily wondered if they had slept.

After a while, Black crept down the stairs and curled up on one of the sofas. By now the common room was beginning to fill up again with stressed seventh years eager to make a dent in their coursework and hyperactive eleven-year-olds who had apparently missed the concept of a Sunday lie-in, so Lily's presence was unremarkable.

Lily watched as the red light of the rising sun crept over the grounds. She loved sunrises, but this one made her feel a little ill. She could not but think that this day had dawned with blood and bloody would be its happenings.

Her eyes were growing heavy. Checking once more that the heavy yellow moon had sunk beneath the horizon, she picked up her book and slid off the window seat. Her legs were stiff and cold after so many hours of enforced stillness; she indulged in a stretch before finally walking upstairs to her dormitory. Her two dormitory-mates were still fast asleep, but she took care to be quiet as she slipped off her robes, pulled on a nightdress and finally, _finally_ sank into her bed. She was asleep within moments.

-LE-

"Good morning, sunshine! Or afternoon, really. I do hope we haven't disturbed your beauty sleep..."

Lily opened her eyes. Her friend Marlene was beaming down at her, fully dressed and unrepentantly cheerful.

Lily liked to think of herself as a morning person, but she made an exception for herself tonight. "Whattimeisit?" she mumbled.

"Noon. Now, I brought you breakfast, because I'm a nice person like that, but you have to get out of bed before you can eat it."

Lily chucked a pillow at her. "I hate you, McKinnon."

"Is that any way to talk to your bosom friend?" Marlene said dramatically, throwing herself into her knees. "Lily! I always thought we had something special..."

"You're literally quoting Black, Marl," said Mary from the other side of the room. She was sitting on her bed and reading a novel, but she smiled warmly when Lily looked in her direction.

Lily's stomach flopped with the memory of what had transpired before she went to bed. "Have you seen them today?" she asked, deliberately keeping her voice casual. "The boys, I mean."

"Remus's gone off home again, I think," Marlene said. "Poor thing, his mum always seems to relapse just when he's looking ill himself. Black's in the common room."

Mary frowned and set aside her book. "It's weird," she said. "He wasn't sitting with Potter and Pettigrew at breakfast, and Potter's shooting him some really nasty looks. I think they've had a fight or something, because they just left him in the common room and went off."

"Potter and Black, fight?" Marlene scoffed, but Lily was nodding uneasily.

"I think I saw them sort of arguing last night in the common room, before I came up to bed," she said. "I wonder what's happened."

"Oo-er," Marlene said, nudging her. "Lily's watching what Potter does. Lily's getting _interested_."

"I am not," Lily said indignantly. "Give me my breakfast."

Despite her light words, she kept an eye out for the Marauders during the day. Black didn't stray from his spot in the common room, and Potter and Pettigrew were nowhere to be found. Remus, of course, was probably languishing in the hospital wing; Lily wondered if he had mauled himself badly this month. After discovering the truth behind Remus's frequent absences, she'd spent some time researching werewolves in the library, and what she had read had horrified her. Not only was the actual transformation supposed to be excruciatingly painful, with the human bones physically breaking to become the wolf's, but when a werewolf was shut up and separated from its prey it turned upon itself and attacked its own flesh, so that when Remus turned back into a human he was riddled with bites and gashes that he spent days recovering from in the hospital wing. She expected Potter and Pettigrew were visiting him, but why on earth had they left Black behind? What had Black _done_ that was so terrible?

She went to bed that evening puzzling over the boys' unusual behaviour. The next morning, Potter partnered Pettigrew in Transfiguration, leaving Black to work by himself. In Potions Lily finally got the chance to see Severus again, and she was too busy chattering to him for a while to watch her housemates. When she did look around, she saw Mary and Marlene working together, as usual; Potter, who usually partnered Remus, had set up his cauldron next to Pettigrew and Black was silently working with Evan Rosier.

"And then I thought we could – Sev? Is everything alright?"

"I think we should add ten more beetle eyes," he said by way of reply. "It'll make the effects last longer."

Lily was used to her friend spontaneously modifying recipes for potions, and she obediently dropped in some more beetle eyes; Severus's additions had never yet failed them. Then she put her hand on her hip and fixed him with her most piercing look. "Why aren't you talking to me?"

"I just did," he pointed out, avoiding her gaze.

"Rubbish," Lily said scornfully. "About Hogsmeade, not Potions. I know you've been looking forward to this trip. It's on the day after my birthday, too, so we can celebrate – I'll take you out to The Three Broomsticks."

He laughed at this, and Lily's heart lifted. "It's your birthday. I'm supposed to be treating _you_."

"We'll treat each other," she said, putting an arm around his shoulders. His cheeks turned a dull shade of pink.

Lily wasn't clueless; she rather suspected that Severus fancied her, but she found the notion almost as repulsive as Potter's repeated attempts to ask her out. At times, Severus frightened her. He was bitter and angry, and the rumours of some of the things he got up to with his Slytherin friends made her nervous.

Partly to comfort him, and partly to banish these disloyal thoughts, she said, "You're my best friend, Sev."

He smiled at her: a rare bright smile that seemed to warm his sallow cheeks and made Lily forget her other worries for the moment. "Thanks."

-LE-

She was reminded of her worries sharply that evening after lessons. Lily was working on a challenging essay set by McGonagall and at the same time attempting to console Mary, who had burst into tears over the same essay. Mary wasn't quite as bright as Lily or Marlene, but by far her biggest problem was lack of confidence.

Potter and Pettigrew had vanished not long ago, presumably to the hospital wing, but they returned much sooner than Lily had expected. Both were pale and looked nervous.

Black, who had waited in the common room again, jerked to his feet. "Does—"

"Let's go up to the dormitory," Potter said tersely, jerking his head in the direction of the staircase. A moment later all three had gone.

"That was odd," Lily said, more to herself than anyone else.

Mary sniffled, and her attention was diverted.

-LE-

Lily was _busy_. Curious though she was, she had better things to do than watch (or stalk, as Marlene called it) the Marauders. Nonetheless, she began to notice a pattern over the next two days.

Remus wasn't out of the hospital wing yet, which was unusual but not unprecedented: Lily could only assume that he had hurt himself more badly than usual. That was doubtless why Potter and Pettigrew came back to Gryffindor Tower every evening looking sick and frightened. Both of them were still ignoring Black, who was beginning to draw into himself: he sat alone at mealtimes, had stopped looking others in the eye and refused to engage with Marlene in their usual flirtatious banter. Meanwhile, the school had not seen a Marauder prank in five days, which had to be breaking some sort of record, and Potter hadn't asked Lily out for nearly a week, which many in Gryffindor held as a portent of doom.

All these unusual happenstances confused Lily, but none distressed her so much as the change in Severus. He was still as distant with her as he had been during their Potions lesson, and Lily could only assume that he was having trouble with his Slytherin friends. Mulciber in particular was beyond detestable.

On Wednesday evening, Potter and Pettigrew were completely white when they returned to the common room. Both looked to have been crying. Potter's eyes flashed when he saw Black. "You," he spat, and he made as if to lunge for his friend.

Pettigrew grabbed his arm. "James – James, please! It's not worth it."

Black didn't make any move to defend himself. He stared up at them, his lips a horrible shade of grey like the skin of a dead fish. When Pettigrew motioned for him to follow them up to the fifth-year boys' dorm, he walked as if wading through a nightmare.

Lily tried to ignore the cold chills running down her spine, but it was hard to focus on her Charms homework after that.

"Well, I'm off," she said to Marlene, stowing her books away in her school bag.

Her friend frowned. "Where to?"

"Prefect duty, of course."

"Your duty's on Mondays and Thursdays," Mary pointed out. "It's Wednesday."

"I'm covering for Remus," said Lily. "It's the least I can do."

"Wait, he isn't back yet?" asked Marlene. "He isn't usually away for this long."

Lily hummed noncommittally and walked away. As she swung open the portrait door, she thought she hear Mary saying behind her, "I wonder what's up with the Marauders at the moment..."

Standing in the dark corridor, Lily had plenty of time to ponder the answer to Mary's question, but she didn't come up with anything resembling an answer.

-LE-

On Thursday morning the fifth year Gryffindors had double Defence Against the Dark Arts. This was a particularly slow and frustrating sort of torture for Lily, because their teacher this year, Professor Burke, was among the most bigoted and ignorant old men she had ever had the misfortune to stand in the same room with.

If he was a blood purist, he concealed his views well enough to please Professor Dumbledore; but Lily, who'd become used to the magical world's attitude to her parenting, could have almost tolerated that more than she could his _sexism_.

With Remus still absent, they made a neat group of six and quickly paired off to practise duelling. Lily was with Marlene, and Mary moved instinctively towards Pettigrew – the least imposing of the boys – before Potter gave Black a dirty look and moved to stand across from Pettigrew. Mary looked rather unhappy as she moved to partner Black, but Burke put a stop to this quickly.

"Not so fast," he said. His lip curled as he looked at Mary, as though she was a particularly loathsome slug. "Miss Evans, Miss McKinnon, move apart, please; I want duelling, not pretty bouquets of flowers. Let's see. Potter, parter Miss Evans. Black, take Miss McKinnon. Miss Macdonald, you will work with Pettigrew; he at least is a match for your meagre magical talent."

Lily raised her hand. She was calm and respectful, always the perfect student. "I don't think you should be talking to us like that, sir."

"Indeed? It is fortunate then that I am the professor here, not you. Begin, class."

Lily fired off three Impediment Jinxes in succession; Potter wasn't even watching her, and he froze immediately. Both Marlene and Mary had similar successes.

"Your impulses to duel gallantly with ladies, while admirable, will not win you marks on your O.W.L.," Burke said coldly to the boys. "Pay attention."

Mary Stunned Pettigrew a second time; Black, who was studiously avoiding Potter's gaze, managed to half-dodge Marlene's Disarming Charm so that his wand made an odd leap out off his hand and fell to the floor in front of him; Potter put up a Shield Charm so weak that Lily's Stunner send him reeling backwards.

It was a disastrous lesson. The boys were criminally distracted, the girls' work went without praise and by the end of it Lily thought the entire room was wishing for Remus – Remus, who easily led the class, who seemed to prevent Burke from swearing at the girls, whose patience and good temper could diffuse all the irritable tension in an instant. Where was Remus?

That evening, Potter and Pettigrew again returned late and distracted. On Friday, Lily was busy trying to catch up on her heavy load of work, wishing for the fiftieth time that she'd chosen easy, simple subjects instead of Arithmancy, Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures. She knew she would have aced Muggle Studies. She didn't notice when Potter and Pettigrew returned – she wasn't _spying_ on them, after all – but when she got up to cover Remus's Prefect duty yet again, she saw that Black had vacated his sofa and disappeared up the stairs.

Lily was exhausted. She was on duty for four nights out of five this week, Severus's odd behaviour was wearing on her nerves and she was beginning to seriously worry about Remus, who had been away for six days. The portraits lining the walls of he corridor outside the common room hissed at her to put out the light from her wand, but she kept it high, glancing both ways down the corridor. There had been a spate of attacks on young Muggle-borns by older Slytherins lately, and Lily knew that the attackers liked to prowl the corridors by night. Stupid Death Eater wannabes.

She had been standing there for more than an hour when her attention was caught by a scratching noise near her feet. She looked down and had to bite back a shriek: there was a fat grey rat very near her shoe. Lily didn't think of herself as particularly averse to crawling things, but the creature was _huge_.

She jerked backwards instinctively, and her back collided with something large and soft. She spun round, but there was nothing there but the dark corridor. Something smooth brushed the skin of her hand and her fingers closed around cloth. Almost without thinking about it, she pulled.

Long, thin fingers snatched at hers. "Give that back!"

Lily didn't listen. She was staring at the silvery fabric that almost seemed to flow over her fingers, shimmering in some places and transparent in others. "An Invisibility Cloak," she murmured. "Merlin, Potter, how many secrets do you have?"

"Give it back, Evans," Potter snapped, making another futile snatch for the Cloak.

Lily folded her arms. "Not so fast. It's way past curfew, what are you doing out here?"

Potter met her eyes, and they were frightened and desperate. Realisation fell. "You were visiting Remus, weren't you?"

"None of your business," Potter muttered, trying to shove past her to the Fat Lady's portrait.

"How is he?"

"I repeat: that's none of your business, Evans."

He looked tired and defeated but stubborn, and Lily realised she wouldn't get any information out of him this way. She hesitated, and then spoke.

"Potter, I know he's a werewolf."

She didn't know what kind of reaction she was expecting: shock, perhaps, and maybe even a little admiration. She rather prided herself on her cleverness in solving the puzzle that was Remus Lupin. She wasn't expecting Potter to whirl around with almost inhuman speed, shoving her into the wall and pressing his wand into her throat. "Shut up!" he hissed. His hazel eyes were wild with panic. "You stupid girl, shut up! Who else have you told? _Answer me!_ "

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Get your hands off me, Potter. I haven't told anyone."

Potter stared at her for a long moment before stepping back and releasing her. Lily rubbed her throat, but he hadn't hurt her.

"I've known for ages," she said. "Since the start of fourth year. I'd never tell anyone, Remus is my friend and I'm worried about him. Please tell me what's happened to him." She kept her voice calm and reasonable, and Potter slowly relaxed.

"You really do care, don't you?" he said, searching her face for a moment. Then he looked away and ran a hand through his already-messy hair. "Fine. I'll tell you. I don't suppose you've worked out how he gets all those injuries?"

"I – I read that he hurts himself," Lily said nervously. "When he's locked up, in the Shrieking Shack I think, and doesn't have any prey to go after."

"Merlin, Evans, you did it properly, didn't you? Exactly correct. Ten points to Gryffindor." His mouth quirked up in a harsh imitation of a smile. "Anyway... Merlin, how do I start this? Well, last full moon, something unexpected happened."

"Black did something," Lily said, and rolled her eyes when he gave her a quizzical look. "It was kind of obvious."

"Well... you know he transforms in the Shack. He gets there by a secret passage, there's a tunnel under the Whomping Willow."

"Under the Willow? How on earth does he get in?"

"There's a way to freeze it so you can get in."

He paused for so long that Lily said, "So? What happened?"

His mouth twisted momentarily. "Ask your boyfriend," he spat.

"He's not my—" Lily began automatically. Then she blinked as his words sank in. "Wait. _Severus_ is mixed up in all this?"

Potter sighed and, seemingly with a tremendous effort, began to speak again. "On the night of the full moon, Snape saw Madam Pomfrey taking Remus down to the Willow. He's – he's been trying to figure out Remus's secret for ages. Then... then Sirius found him. I don't think he was really thinking clearly, he gets strange sometimes when he's angry, but that's no excuse, is it? Anyway, he told Snape how to get past the Willow. And Snape went."

Lily gaped at him for a moment. "And met a transformed werewolf?"

Potter laughed bitterly at this. "I wish! Remus was still human when Snape got to him. He – he was terrified out of his mind. It's Remus's worst fear that he might hurt someone when he's transformed, I know he'd rather d-die then know he's done that to someone..." He broke off and shuddered. "Snape _laughed_ at him. Remus was s-screaming at him to get away and Snape _laughed_."

Lily's heart twisted. Severus wouldn't do that to someone, would he? But Severus loathed the Marauders... "Was he bitten?" she whispered. "Was Sev bitten? Is that why he's been so different since then?"

Potter shook his head. He looked close to tears. "As soon as Sirius told us what he's done, I ran down to the Willow to try to get Snape... I could hear them but, but I couldn't call out or something because the tunnel's so long and I had to get there as fast as possible... And, and then Remus just screamed again and I knew he was transforming, he was transforming and Snape was w-watching him. I got to the end of the tunnel and I just grabbed Snape and slammed the trapdoor into the Shack shut before the wolf could get out and we ran for it, and then when we got out McGonagall found us and took us to Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore made Snape swear not to tell anyone about Remus, so at least he doesn't have to worry about that." His voice broke.

"Then what's the matter?" Lily breathed. "Why is Remus still in the hospital wing?" Potter shook his head and turned away, and something cold clutched at Lily's heart. "Potter, what's the matter with him?"

Potter met her eyes again. "He's dying," he said bluntly.

Lily shook her head numbly, unable to speak.

"You know he hurts himself," Potter said in a low voice. "There are factors that make the wounds worse sometimes. In the winter the moon is up for so long that he never has an easy time of it anyway, and then, human scent always makes the wolf angrier too, and when he's agitated right before the transformation his feelings kind of translate to the wolf, and he was _terrified_ before the change. His wounds are awful, I've never seen anything as bad before."

"But surely Madam Pomfrey can set him right again," Lily said weakly.

Potter shook his head. There were so many lines on his face that he looked like an old man. "When we told him what Sirius had done," he said, voice trembling, "he... he sort of went into shock. I don't really understand it, but magic isn't working on him anymore. Madam Pomfrey can't close his wounds. The Blood-Replenishing Potion isn't working on him, so he's slowly bleeding to death."

Lily wondered vaguely if she was going to vomit. "That's..."

"Sickening?" Potter supplied. "I know. Madam Pomfrey's trying to treat him the Muggle way, but it's not doing much good. She – she can't even doing anything for his pain, because her pain potions aren't working. He—"

At last his self-control seemed to desert him and he broke down in sobs. Hesitantly, Lily reached out and laid a hand on his arm. _What are you doing?_ part of her screamed. _It's James Potter!_ But her maternal side had taken over and she patted the shaking boy's back until he began to quiet. "There, there," she said soothingly. "I'm sure he'll be alright." She bit her lip at this dishonest inanity, but he didn't seem to notice. "There, there."

At last Potter raised his eyes. Fury animated his tired features and his eyes suddenly blazed. "It's Sirius's fault," he said. "It's all Sirius's fault."

Lily thought of the pathetic figure Black made sitting on the sofa, with his crumpled posture and eyes burning with remorse. "You haven't let Black into the hospital wing," she realised. "You haven't let him see Remus."

"Remus is dying because of him!"

"Maybe it would help Remus," Lily said hesitantly. "If he could talk to Black. I'm sure Black feels awful about what happened, he's been looking so upset."

"Or maybe it would make Remus worse," Potter countered. "I can't risk doing that to him. And Sirius doesn't deserve to see him. He should be charged with murder."

"For what it's worth, I think you should let Black talk to Remus," said Lily. "It would be awful if Remus – if he – if he d-died before Black could apologise."

Potter shrugged and pulled his Cloak from her unresisting fingers. "Maybe. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder, Evans." It was strange to hear him without the playful lilt to his voice; he sounded like an angry soldier.

"Potter, will you let me know how Remus is doing?" Lily said haltingly. "I'd like to know. Remus... he's a good friend."

"He is," Potter agreed, a catch in his voice. "I'll keep you up to date. I guess Remus needs as many _loyal_ friends as he can get." As he finished speaking his wand slid abruptly out of his hand and he knelt to pick it up. His movements seemed slow and clumsy with exhaustion. Then he nodded at Lily. "Night, Evans. _Grindylow_."

"What sort of time d'you call this?" the Fat Lady grumbled as she jolted awake, but the portrait swung obligingly open and Potter disappeared into the common room.

Lily stared at the dark corridor ahead of her. The walls and the portraits and the floor were steady and peaceful; the light of the waning gibbous silvered the stones and the stars she could see out of the window were as bright as ever. And Remus was dying! It was too much to take in. Remus was sweet and clever and patient and _good_ , too good to die young.

Remus was dying. Remus was dying. No matter how many times Lily said it to herself, she could not make it true, could not begin to wrap her head around the idea. Remus was bleeding to death. That elicited a shudder. She would never see Remus again.

This pierced her. Choking back a sob, Lily closed her eyes. Remus was dying and there was nothing she could do. She was an observer doomed to the sidelines, watching but never interfering in a friendship she could not understand – a friendship that was soon to splinter, because Remus was dying.

-LE-

On Saturday Lily was on her way down to the Great Hall for lunch when she heard a voice calling her name. "Miss Evans!" Professor McGonagall said briskly. "How fortunate. Could you please escort Mr and Mrs Lupin to the hospital wing?"

Lily's heart sank. Mrs Lupin was a pretty woman around forty, with a girlish face, long blonde hair and Remus's big golden-brown eyes; Mr Lupin was a little older, with a lined but kindly face and light brown hair streaked with grey. They both seemed tense and pale.

"Of course," Lily said hesitantly, glancing at McGonagall.

"Miss Evans is one of our Gryffindor prefects," McGonagall told the couple. "I am sure we can trust her to be discreet." She directed a stern look at Lily, who nodded.

"The hospital wing is this way, sir, ma'am," she said politely. She gestured down the corridor and Remus's parents followed her silently.

Lily's lips were trembling. Remus was dead, she thought. That had to be it; he'd died of his wounds at last. She had to fight to keep herself bursting into tears.

Mrs Lupin, Lily knew, was a Muggle, and she looked shockingly out of place in her faded blue dress against the black-robed students filling the corridors. Lily's head was buzzing so much that she took two wrong turns before she finally reached the hospital wing. She forced something resembling a smile and opened the door for Mr and Mrs Lupin. "Here we are."

In the moments before the door swung shut behind them, she saw Madam Pomfrey hurrying into the little isolation room at the end of the hospital wing and Pettigrew scurrying behind her with a tray full of potions. Lily's heart thumped painfully. The potions could only mean one thing: for now, Remus was alive.

For now.

-LE-

Potter and Pettigrew weren't to be seen for the rest of Saturday; Lily turned in early, determined to catch up on the sleep she'd lost during the week, and didn't see whether they returned from the hospital wing or not. On Sunday morning she woke to see that it had snowed overnight, and the castle and grounds were blanketed in white.

"It's like fairy dust," sighed Mary, who had a penchant for drama.

"Trust me, you don't want it to be fairy dust," Marlene assured her, bounding over to the window. She grinned. "Snowball fight?"

Mary begged off, citing an overdue Herbology essay, but Lily agreed – it might be a welcome distraction. Within twenty minutes she and Marlene had bundled up in their winter clothes and tumbled out into the grounds, pelting each other with snowballs and shrieking like first-years. Soon this turned into a proper battle, with snow forts, huge snowball arsenals and armies of first- and second-years. Lily perched herself on a snow throne and shouted orders until her voice was hoarse and her nose was in danger of falling off from cold.

"Agh!" Marlene yelled as Lily Levitated fifty snowballs towards her and dropped them over her head. Her army, sensing defeat, had mostly deserted her. "I SURRENDER! I SURRENDER!"

Lily ran over to her. "Your terms are accepted! Soldiers, we are victorious!"

The children cheered and ran off back to the lakeside, where their classmates were trying to throw snowballs at the Giant Squid. Lily held out a hand to help her vanquished enemy up.

"I will get you," Marlene promised, blue eyes dancing as she struggled to her feet. "How about some hot chocolate? I think my toes have fallen off."

"Hot chocolate is the drink of the devil," Lily informed her. "Why on earth would you ruin good chocolate with whipped cream – and _marshmallows_? It's barbaric. I'm going up to the common room, I'll see you there."

"What, so you can beat me at chess as well as snow fights?" Marlene grumbled playfully. She ran back to the castle, fleet-footed and graceful with her curls flying behind her.

Lily made her way back more slowly, looking anxiously round for Filch, who was sure to slap her in detention for tracking snow over the floors. Luckily, she didn't hear anything until she was nearly back at Gryffindor Tower, when a high, fragile shriek reached her ears.

"Filthy little Mudblood!" someone was jeering. "Want to know a secret? You're – not – welcome – here." Each word of the final sentence was punctuated by a soft thudding sound, like a boot kicking tender flesh.

Someone else laughed harshly. " _Crucio!_ "

Another quiet scream quickly died away. Lily's vision went mostly red. She rounded the corner and saw a gang of hulking older Slytherins gathered around a brown-haired girl on the floor. " _Crucio!_ " one said again, pointing his wand at her. She screamed, and Lily realised with a shock that it was Mary.

There obviously wasn't a lot of power behind the curse, because Mary stopped screaming quickly, but Lily's blood still boiled. " _Stupefy!_ " she shouted, pointing her wand at them. " _Stupefy_ – _Petrificus Totalus!_ " The three boys thumped as one to the floor.

Mary covered her face with her hands and broke down in sobs. Lily stumbled forward, wrapping her arms around her. "It's okay, it's alright, you're safe now. I promise. Let's get you to the hospital wing..." As soon as she said it she felt guilty; Madam Pomfrey was busy enough already, trying to save a dying boy.

But Mary shook her head adamantly. "N-no. I d-don't want to cause any trouble..."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Lily exclaimed. "You're shaking all over."

"They'll just find me again," Mary mumbled. "They'll be angry if I tell. You can't tell anyone, please."

"You've got to stand up to bullies, Mary," Lily said angrily. "Forget expulsion, what they were doing could land them in Azkaban for life. Your – your mind could have been permanently damaged!"

At this Mary burst into tears again, and Lily was occupied in leading her back to their dormitory and settling her down on her bed. "Please don't tell anyone," Mary begged again, lifting her tearstained face to Lily's. "Promise me."

"All right," Lily said uncomfortably. "I won't tell."

At last Mary cried herself to sleep, and Lily sat down beside her, unwilling to let her wake up alone after her ordeal. A few hours later Marlene ran into the room. "What happened?" she said breathlessly. "There's all sorts of horrible rumours going around – the Cruciatus – Avery and Mulciber and Rosier—"

"All true," Lily said grimly.

Marlene shook her head slowly. "That's... Who've you told?"

"Mary doesn't want me to," Lily said. "She made me promise."

"And you _agreed_?" Marlene looked ready to throttle her.

"She was in hysterics," Lily said defensively, feeling guilty once more.

"Well, if you won't I will," Marlene declared. "I'm going straight to McGonagall."

"Wait," Lily said, as her friend made for the door. "Wait a few days. I hate to admit it, but... I think Mary's right that they'll come after her if she tells them. We'll wait until the buzz has died down a bit. I have a feeling everyone knows about it by now."

-LE-

She wasn't far from the truth. By the next morning, almost every student she met seemed to be whispering about yet another attack on a Muggle-born student; some, mostly Gryffindors who had seen Lily with Mary the day before, had deduced who the victim was; others had somehow learned that the curse used was Unforgivable. Lily even overheard a few first-years hotly debating whether there had been a murder. The only people who didn't seem to know were the teachers, who remained ignorant of the cause of the whispering in their lessons, and – naturally – the three Marauders, who were as distracted as ever.

After Potions, during which Severus barely spoke five words to her, Lily grabbed the sleeve of his robes. "Stay here. We need to talk," she said.

He raised an eyebrow as they moved out of the classroom together. As Lily slung her bag over her shoulder, a foot was stuck into her path. She tripped and would have fallen if Severus hadn't snatched at her robes. "Watch where you're going, Mudblood!" Rosier shouted after her.

Lily whipped out her wand and shot a Stinging Hex over her shoulder without looking back. Distantly, she heard him yell in pain.

Severus frowned. "You can't just do that, Lily, you'll get in trouble."

"Excuse me?" Lily said furiously. "Did you hear what he called me?" They were coming out into the castle courtyard now, tramping through the thin layer of remaining snow.

"Lily, he's my friend," Severus protested weakly.

"He's a prejudiced idiot," Lily said. "This was exactly what I wanted to talk to you about: why do you spend so much time with people like that?"

"It's none of your business who I spend my time with!" Severus snapped. "Can't you just understand? I thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?"

Lily tried to bite back her frustration. She didn't understand why he was being so defensive. "We _are_ , Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! _Mulciber!_ What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?" What a stupid question, she thought distantly, leaning against a pillar. Everyone knew.

"That was nothing," Severus argued. "It was a laugh, that's all—"

Hot rage rose inside her. "It was Dark Magic," she said, "and if you think that's funny—"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" Severus argued, dull colour rising in his cheeks.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" Lily asked, nonplussed.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin," Severus said, and Lily's heart twisted to think of Remus struggling for his life even as they spoke. "Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," she said quickly. "They say he's ill—"

"Every month at the full moon?" Severus said sceptically.

He was dropping hints, she realised. Dumbledore had made him swear not to tell, but he was desperate to let her know what he had discovered, desperate enough to break his word. At the same time she remembered what Potter had said, that Severus had laughed at Remus when he'd found him in the Shrieking Shack. Thinking of this, she spoke a little more coldly than she expected as she said, "I know your theory. Why are you so obsessed with them, anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are." He looked at her so intently that heat rose to her cheeks. She thought of Potter crying into her shoulder and had to argue back.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She glanced around and lowered her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there—" It took a little effort to make her voice seem as ignorantly vague as if she had no idea what was down there, but she thought she had managed.

Severus's face contorted. "Saved? Saved?" he spluttered. "You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to – I won't let you—"

Lily narrowed her eyes. " _Let_ me? _Let_ me?"

"I didn't mean – I just don't want to see you made a fool of – he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" Lily raised her eyebrows; did he really think she didn't know that? "And he's not... Everyone thinks... Big Quidditch hero—"

Lily had raised her eyebrows so high that they were beginning to give her a headache. "I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she interrupted. Severus's whole body seemed to relax at her words. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. _Evil_ , Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

Severus didn't seem to be listening; there was a new spring in his step as they walked back inside for their next lesson. Lily looked at him and felt a sudden rush of affection. "Don't let's argue any more, Sev," she said, squeezing his arm. "You know we're best friends."

He beamed at her, and his face looked suddenly younger and brighter. This was a side of Severus that so few ever saw. "I know," he said.

-LE-

Lily had now heard two different accounts of the events on the night of the full moon, and she had plenty of time in History of Magic to ponder them. Potter had laid all the blame for what had happened at Black's feet, but Severus had made it seem as if all of the Marauders had been involved, as if Potter's rescue had not been heroic so much as a desperate action to stop his friends from getting into trouble. But then, it was obvious that Potter and Pettigrew were both furious with Black, so he must have done _something_ wrong...

In the ordinary way of things, Lily would have been more inclined to trust Severus's story. After all, he was her best friend, and Potter was just an irritating boy who badgered her constantly and whose head was so big she was surprised he managed to get his broomstick off the ground. But Severus's hatred for the Marauders was legendary, and – despite all his flaws – Lily had difficulty in conceiving of Potter as a liar. There was a certain streak of Gryffindor pride in him that would not let him tell falsehoods, she was sure of it. But that meant _Severus_ was lying, and that thought did not sit comfortably in Lily's head.

By the end of the lesson she had managed to come up with some sort of explanation. She seriously doubted that Potter had been in on Black's plan, so he must have had honest motives when he'd gone down to save Severus. But Severus, terrified by the sight of the raging werewolf and furious that Black had almost had him killed, had convinced himself that Potter had simply got cold feet and pulled out of Black's prank. The alternative, after all, was that he owed Potter his life, and Lily couldn't imagine Severus ever admitting that, even to himself.

She wanted to be furious with Black for what he had done: he'd endangered her best friend's life, and it was because of him that Remus was dying. But her anger was hard to maintain that evening when she saw him that evening, sitting alone in the common room and waiting for Potter and Pettigrew to return. He'd bitten so hard into his lip that blood was trickling down his chin. His hands were abnormally still; Black was a fidgeter, generally brimming over with nervous energy, but now he just looked drained and sad. His elegant black hair was tousled and unwashed.

It was late when Potter and Pettigrew returned. Their expressions were much the same as Black's: tired and defeated.

"Any change?" Black asked hoarsely. Pettigrew just looked at him, and his shoulders slumped.

As he passed her on the way to the boys' dorms, Potter met Lily's gaze. She raised her eyebrows in a silent question and was rewarded with a single shake of the head. He subtly raised three fingers, and Lily felt suddenly sick. That could only mean one thing: Remus had three days left to live.

-LE-

By Tuesday evening Marlene's patience was reaching its limit, and she was demanding that Mary tell McGonagall what had happened to her. Mary was becoming more and more distressed and Marlene was growing angrier, and Lily was occupied in mediating the furiously whispered debate in the common room.

"Honestly, d'you call yourself a Gryffindor?" Marlene asked at last, folding her arms in disgust.

Mary's lip trembled.

"Shut up, Marl," Lily said sharply. "None of this is Mary's fault. And she's as much a Gryffindor as you are."

"You're one to talk," Marlene said nastily. She was clearly in one of her very worst moods. "Running around with that Slytherin creep all the time. It's his lot that did this to Mary – where's your House spirit?"

Lily lifted her chin. "Severus is nothing to do with this," she said angrily. "And just because you don't have friends in other Houses—"

She broke off as a commotion sounded near the portrait hole. Potter and Pettigrew had just returned from their daily visit to the hospital wing. Lily's heart clenched when she saw that they had both recently been crying. Was Remus dead? He couldn't be dead, Potter had said he had three days left, Remus couldn't have died...

"Go," Potter was saying to Black in a choked voice. "Just go. See if you can fix it."

Black stared at him, looking horrified but also determined. He had already risen to his feet. He nodded once and then left the common room swiftly, moving with a little of his old graceful energy.

Lily blinked. Could it be that Potter had just followed her advice?

A moment later, Potter lifted his head and his eyes found her from across the common room. His face was streaked with tears as he nodded shakily at her, and Lily gave him the tiniest of encouraging smiles in return.

"What's up with them?" Marlene said, the quarrel already forgotten. Marlene was mercurial like that.

"I wonder where Remus is," Mary said thoughtfully. "He's never been away for this long before. And Potter and Black haven't spoken for ages, it's weird."

Lily shrugged. Keeping her voice deliberately cheerful, she said, "It's the Marauders – who ever knows what's up with them? Like as not they're planning some sort of elaborate prank. Should we get down to those questions for Flitwick? They're due tomorrow, after all."

Lily had already done the questions, but as her friends both scrambled to finish them her services as a talking textbook were quickly required.

Mary and Marlene had both gone up to bed by the time Black returned. Potter and Pettigrew had remained waiting in the common room for him, sitting on the same sofa that he had occupied for so many days alone. Lily stayed, too, watching them out of the corner of her eye as she began to compose a letter to her mother.

At last the portrait door swung open and Black clambered through. Potter and Pettigrew both stared expectantly as a slow smile broke over his face. "Forgiven," he whispered, slinking down beside them as though his knees would no longer support his weight.

Both boys reached out to slap his back, and Potter extended a hand to him, but Lily didn't stay to watch their reconciliation. Smiling, she packed away her things and made her way up to bed.

-LE-

On Wednesday evening all three Marauders were absent, and when they returned to the common room they wore tired and shaky smiles. As he passed her, Potter surreptitiously dropped a scrunched-up ball of parchment into Lily's lap. He didn't stop to watch her unravel it, following his friends up the stairs.

Lily frowned, half-expecting it to be some sort of joke; but when she had smoothed out the creases in the note she saw that it bore only two words. They made her grin.

 _He's healing._

-LE-

Lily didn't realise how much the weight of Remus's illness had weighed on her, but on Thursday she felt younger and more cheerful than she had for a while. Suddenly she could smile at teachers, happily point lost first-years in the right direction and truly appreciate the fact that her sixteenth birthday was the next day. The three Marauders looked alert and energised, and when every Slytherin prefect who had eaten a croissant for breakfast grew webbed fingers, Lily knew Remus must be mending quickly. Even Mary and Marlene seemed affected by the general buoyant feeling.

By the time Defence Against the Dark Arts rolled around, Lily was feeling so happy that not even her misogynist professor could irritate her. She beamed at him when he told her that her Full Body-Bind on Black was obviously because her wand had discharged, ("An effect often experienced by weak-willed females"), and at the end of the lesson her wickedly mischievous mood came to a head.

"I am very disappointed," Burke was saying coldly as they moved the desks back from where they had been pushed to the sides of the room. "The three of you are not showing any progress at all. Next lesson, I want two rolls of parchment on offensive spells – Pettigrew, Shield Charms are inefficient unless you want to fight like a girl. Class dism—"

He didn't finish speaking, because Lily had drawn her wand and hit him with a Bat-Bogey Hex. Immediately, he was surrounded by clouds of bogeys flying at his face. Her classmates roared with laughter.

"It shouldn't be too hard to remove, Professor!" Lily called as they left the classroom. "After all, I'm just a weak-willed female!"

"That's my girl, Evans," Potter grinned, giving her a thumbs-up. "You, me and Madam Puddifoot's on Saturday?"

"How about you, me, the dungeons and some of those old torture instruments?" Lily suggested. "And I don't belong to you."

Marlene high-fived her and, as they walked away, she heard Black saying, "Better luck next time, Prongs."

Things were _definitely_ back to normal.

-LE-

On Friday morning Mary and Marlene woke her early with a cheerful chorus of 'Happy Birthday', after which she began tearing into her presents. Admittedly, she was sixteen now, but birthdays were the days that practically mandated behaving like a child.

Her friends had pooled their money to buy her a pretty pearl necklace that could change colour to match her dress. "Thank you," she said, looking around at the two smiling faces. "It's beautiful. I hope—"

"Shut it," Marlene warned. "If you're going to start worrying over how much it cost, I'll spend double that on your Christmas present."

"I'll consider myself warned," Lily smiled. Severus had sent her a musical box that piped out tunes suited to her mood, and a sweet little note that she tucked inside the box, resolving to work harder on her friendship with him. Best friends didn't just give up on each other, no matter what their differences were.

Her parents had sent a beautiful green chiffon scarf; it smelled like gingerbread and lavender and her mother's perfume. "It matches your eyes," Marlene said approvingly, and Lily held it to her face perhaps a moment longer than necessary before folding it carefully and setting it aside. Petunia had also sent a present with her parents': a half-used black biro. Lily sighed. She was old enough now to understand that her sister's indifference stemmed from jealousy, but it still hurt.

Marlene was captivated. "That's _weird!_ " she said. "Muggles don't _write_ with that, surely?"

Lily laughed and handed her the pen. "Keep it."

There were two gifts left. First was another necklace, an expensive-looking filigree chain with the initials _JP+LE_. Accompanying it was a note: _Happy birthday, Evans! I'll see you in Hogsmeade tomorrow?_

Lily rolled her eyes and chucked the present into the very bottom of her trunk, vowing never to wear it. Her very last present was a large bar of Honeydukes' finest and a handsome eagle-feather quill. Puzzled, she checked the note wound around the quill and then smiled. The handwriting was shaky and weak, but still recognisable.

 _Happy sixteenth, Lily! Wishing you a brilliant day and a year full of success. Remember you can do whatever you put your mind to.—Remus_

"He is _so sweet_ ," said Marlene, putting a hand over her heart. "I hope he's getting better." The Marauders had finally come up with a sensible story for Remus's long absence: he'd been very ill in St. Mungo's, and had been in some considerable danger for a while, but was getting much better, thank you.

"I think he is," said Lily. "His friends have been much more cheerful lately. Let's get down for breakfast."

"It wouldn't do to be late," Marlene agreed. "Even birthday girls have responsibilities to live up to... First years to set an example to..." She laughed as she hurried into the bathroom.

Lily wished her birthday could have landed on a weekend, but she had a happy, peaceful day all the same. She was popular enough that she was wished whenever she walked down the corridor; Professor Slughorn genially excused her from the week's assignment ("Your grade is quite excellent enough as it is, Miss Evans!"); and at supper she was served with her very favourite treacle tart.

She was digging into this and looking forward spending her Saturday in Hogsmeade with Severus – the perfect way to round off a birthday, she thought – when she happened to glance towards the doorway, and saw the only thing that could make her day even better than it had been.

He was standing next to the doorframe, gripping it with such force that his knuckles had gone white: Lily suspected it was the only thing keeping him upright. His cheekbones jutted out sharply, his robes seemed very big on his thin frame and there were bruise-like shadows beneath his eyes, but he was smiling as he looked toward the Gryffindor table. His eyes were just the same as always, a warm shade of golden-brown.

Lily looked down the table to where Potter, Black and Pettigrew were eating. Potter looked up first, going suddenly still as his eyes landed on Remus. Then he let out a whoop that echoed to the high ceiling and sprang from his seat, reaching Remus with a few bounds of his long legs with Pettigrew and Black on his heels. He hugged Remus so hard that the slighter boy was lifted a little off his feet, but there was a gentleness to his touch all the same. Lily fancied she could see the bulk of bandages beneath Remus's robes.

Remus was laughing as Pettigrew wrapped an arm around his shoulders and Potter hugged him again. It didn't seem to matter that he was sickly and frail; his smile was wide and genuine and his eyes were bright.

Black hung back a little from the other boys, a question in his eyes as he looked at Remus. Remus smiled and extended a hand, pulling Black into the crush.

Lily wasn't sure who started the clapping, but she joined in enthusiastically, and before long all of Gryffindor were on their feet cheering. She kept her eyes on the heads in the doorway, two light and two dark. Four again.

This was the way it was meant to be.

 **This one-shot sort of ties in to my story** ** _Of Chocolate-Chip Cookies and Moonlit Epiphanies_** **, so you may want to check that out as well! Firstly, though, please let me know what you thought in a review!**

 **~Butterfly**


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